I am still alive

Gained a lot of weight since I started the Lyrica... Psych wants to try adding a stimulant. He says it could send me into hypomania but if it does, I should stop taking it.

I can't remember the name though.

I want it to help me do the things my lack of energy and my feelings of shame stop me from.



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	My temper is flaring today. Missed my noon meds - not sure if that factors in or not.

Thought

Do you ever have a moment where you think of how your silhouette looks to someone walking past?

And then, do you ever think of going past with a big knife like the nun in Exorcist 3, just to freak them out??

Perhaps it's only me.


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Moody

I don't really have anything to say other than H dragging me out for some garage sale perusing.

I feel crappy and Hubs is gone till tmw.

:(


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Haven't been writing

I am very bored and boring so I haven't been writing.

It's been a busy wk so I am exhausted!!!

I'm moody and semi-down most days but I slap on a happy face the best I can because Hubs is down too.

Had Son's bday, went to the beach and saw an old friend.

All good things but I feel like I have no energy left.


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Tired

I have been up and down this wk. Got my period - first one since May.

Haven't been taking many actual photos or working on genealogy either.

Went out yesterday w/ a good friend - met up w/ some other friends & I was even convinced to stay out even later and some of it was good and some wasn't as much.

Overall, I feel sort of strange it's like while I am texting this - it's one of those out-of-body experiences where I am seeing myself from above.

I feel so disconnected...


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Hmmn...

Had ODSP meeting today - came home and slept for HOURS - my case worker was nice and explained things thoroughly though I can't say I retained much of it.

Thank God there were handouts!

Awoke feeling moody.


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*sigh* Hubs 2.0 is depressed

This is so hard to deal w/ because it pulls me down too. It's so easy to be sucked into the whirlpool.
I am swimming against the current but I don't want to drown!

I *know* I should be more supportive and I tend to think I am until I end up losing my shit w/ him.

Go to a DR, a counselling place - just do SOMETHING!!!!

I've been asking for MONTHS!


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