What the hell is wrong than my phone!!!!!!

Here's the meds pic
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The list of wk 1

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New pills in a wk

Plus I am depressed...

This sucks!


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I got approved for ODSP in 16 business days.

I really want to freak on the doctors who refused to help me!

But I won't.

I also will be starting a thyroid pill in my next set of pills.

excerpt from may 27th entry of hand-written journal

excerpt from hand-written journal may 26, 2014

Thoughts sprung from. Doctor Who

Don't know how we'll this is going to go. My phone has been a pain in the ass

Anyway, I think I know why Donna is my fav Companion, deep down inside she truly believed that she was a nobody, a nothing.

I am like that a lot.

Re-watching "The end of time."

Always makes me cry

Why do I need to cry today?

No idea why but I feel like I do

So I'm just gonna go with it.



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Next psych appt

Is Tues at but I never know if he'll be running late or not.

Wondering if I should arrange for someone to pick him up or not as back-up and it's one of his Kung Fu nights

Not sure what to do

Curently taking my own (time out/in) in a bubble bath w/ Pepsi, shortbread cookies and a book 've read before "like all of them."


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Moody

Have been kinda down this wk. Feeling listless and tired. But also not interested in anything really.

Meh.


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Human Sacrifice - Just how dangerous is this for me?

OK, so a lot of us (myself included) have "self-medicated whether it be with drugs, booze, sex, self-harm or all of the previous plus maybe things I've never done so I didn't think of it.

Since the very first time I've been on meds, I am going to a bar.

I'm what you would call a "binge-drinker" I generally do not keep alcohol in my home but out at the bar it can be 5 -25 drinks a night.

It may be dangerous for me tonight but it's a friend's birthday.  I was going to go a few wks ago for a friend's divorce party but then I slammed 3 of my fingers into the garage door and took it as a sign.

Today, I took all my meds but i slept most of the day.

So I took THAT as a sign that I was OK to go.

I guess we'll see!

Wish me luck...

It's been a busy and kind of rough wk

I feel overwhelmed with getting ready for our unit inspection and even though one of my inner circle people tried to show me how to hang stuff, I completely could,kt do it.

Hence tape.
Lots of tape.
To hold up my step-daughter's curtains.

I have a sore throat and I am tired.

I joined an online bipolaR group and we'll see how that goes.

I need to pick some pics for Son"s and Step-Daughter's frames...

I have some other pics that require frames.

We planted flowers for the first time ever. EVER in my life. My parents were big on it but I wasn't.

But I had a dream about my Mom and that prompted me to do it.

Though Hubs did most of the work.


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Med increase

Ok let's see what we are at now:

Clonazepam 0.5; 2 pills 4x/day
Abilify 10 mg; 1 pill 1x/day
Lamictal 100 mg; 5 pills/ day
Propranolol 10 mg; 1 pills 2x/day

Less pills - more dosage


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Nice evening

Last night I went out with one of my old and dear friends from college (the 2nd time I dropped out, not the 1st).

Anyway, she took me out to dinner at ESM's and we talked, a lot.

I suspect that I did most of the talking but it helped - it really did.

It's also made me wonder if my noon meds are too strong...

Anyway, I felt more "normal" with her on the outing.

Today I saw my Mom for Mother's Day and I thanked her for keeping me (rather than terminating me).

I got a bit emotional but I needed to say it.

She was not keen on my meds or my drowsiness, but she does love me...

Go figure.


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I'm bummed

I'm really not going to enjoy it now that "Positive Steps" is over.

After my stint at the day hospital out-patient program - I went downhill.

I hope it doesn't happen again...

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This breaks my heart

I should avoid the news - I get so caught up in it that it keeos me in tears.

The latest is the fact that they finally found the body of a young boy, Robbire Reiner fell into a river near his home after his birthday and bfore xmas.

It keeps making my cry.

Over the years many stories have touched me in this manner and I can't seem to shake it.


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Just checking

MEDS:

0.5 mg (because isn't covered) Clonazepam - 2 pills, 4x/day
10 mg Abilify - 1 pill 1x/day
100 mg Lamictal - 1 & 3/4 pills 3x/day for one wk
10 mg Propanolol 1 pill 2x/day

So that's 16 and 1/4 pills a day, right?

Seriously?

Oh and ALL my test results were apparently good. "Excellent" was the word I believe the good DR used.

I think he may have been shocked.


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Confused by meds

Take a look...



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