What do you think about online screening quizzes?

So, tonight I had MOH do 2 screening quizzes in preparation for his upcoming psychiatric assessment.

The screening quizzes were from http://psychcentral.com 

One was for Adult ADD and this was the scoring key:
S C O R I N G   K E Y

If you scored...	You may have...
70 & up 50 - 69 35 - 49 25 - 34 0 - 24	Adult ADHD Moderate ADHD Mild ADHD Borderline ADHD No ADHD likely

He did it without any input from me and scored over 70.

The other one was a bipolar screening test and he also did that one without my input and the scoring key was:
S C O R I N G   K E Y

If you scored...	You may have...
51 & up	Bipolar disorder - Serious symptoms
36 - 50	Bipolar disorder - Moderate to severe symptoms
25 - 35	Bipolar disorder likely
16 - 24	Either bipolar disorder II or depressive disorder
10 - 15	Possible depressive disorder
0 - 9	No disorder likely

On that one he scored himself in the moderate to severe symptoms.  I am curious to see what he would score if I did it on my perceptions of his behaviour?

Should I?

Why do I even ask?

That reminds me of something and I'm not quite sure what the difference in our answers says about us but MOH and I were watching Dallas the other week (we haven't seen this week's yet so NO SPOILERS please).  Anyway, Bobby was offered information on his wife by her ex-husband and, although he was curious, he told her that he hoped someday she'd tell her himself and he threw the unopened envelope into the fireplace.

MOH asked me if we were in that situation, would I read what was in the envelope.  I answered instantly that yes, I would want to know and that it would drive me crazy to know that someone else knew something about him/our family that I didn't know because I always want to know the information.  Always.

And I was shocked, well, actually, surprise surprise, FLABBERGASTED when MOH told me that he wouldn't take the hypothetical envelope and would not actually want to know.

So, I do wonder what that says about us?

OK so I did the bipolar quiz on him and I scored him in the same range though 4 points higher than he scored himself.

On the ADHD one I scored him as how he comes across to me and well he scored 22 point higher than he did when he scored himself.  LOL!

MOH is not particularly impressed with me at this moment...

*shrug*

I spent most of Wednesday playing Twister with Fear

Seriously.

Every time I took a step in one direction, it blocked me.  One, slippery, inky, immoveable foot on red, a long, strong, arm on yellow, toppling me over, like a turtle on its back.  Unable to flip over and get its bearings.

MOH and I had a big talk with our young man today who had some legitimate questions about the upheaval that's been going on lately and that, for once, have not been focused on the emotional/neurological issues of himself or his older sister.

He actually timed me the other day.  As soon as I walked in the door from my peer support group, which was followed by a smaller peer social outing for a cool beverage of a non-alcoholic variety, my pride and joy looked at me as if I had broken curfew and said, in an affronted tone, "MOM!  Do you know you've been gone for exactly 4 hours and 15 minutes?!?!?!"

To which I replies, "No I didn't.  Thanks for telling me, honey."

Then I ruffled his hair and gave him a smooch on the forehead.  Apparently not the reaction he was looking for.

He was gearing for a fight.

Now if it's one thing the more verbal members of our family have in common is that we all seem to leap into verbal sparring in the blink of an eye.  We're yellers and interrupters and we all like to get the last word.

Oh, and I almost forgot.  Every single one of us is convinced that we are, without fail, almost always right.  (And you know that can't be the case since everyone should know that I am right at least 88% of the time!)

I was taking a break from my BPD 2 reading and reading about ADD/ADHD since I have been convinced, for years, that MOH has it - in part because our oldest girl has it and because in reading about it a few years ago so much of it sounded like him (granted, at the time I did say that a good portion sounded like me but I thought I was being some sort of hypochondriac or something) and, of course, along with my BPD 2 diagnosis, I was also diagnosed with ADHD.

So when I was doing this reading last night, I got very scared because I started to wonder if our young man, who already has an ASD diagnosis, might have a co-morbid case of ADHD that has gone undiagnosed.

And then I have to wonder - what does that mean for our not-so-little-one? The lover of pink, coins, shoes and animals?

So those were the fears I was wrapped up in today.

What in the world would it mean if EVERYONE in our family has some form of neurological disorder?

How could we survive as a family?

Would we self-destruct?

If we did, would it all be my fault because I took to many years to get some real help for my own issues?

Playing Twister with Fear, my friends.

And Fear is one nasty bitch of a player.

You know why?

Because she'll trip you, she'll push you and then she'll try to hold you down until you just give up.

But I don't feel like giving up right now.

Hopefully I will still feel that way tomorrow.