Frustrated by "the system"

I can't claim to know how it works anywhere else but the medical system in Ontario has it's benefits and it's deficits.

Major deficit: shortage of medical professionals

Last year I had a *massive* falling out w/ my psychiatrist after he and I had discussed something, and I was told we'd have our next regular appt and then I should make a specific appt to discuss the specific request.

At the end of my next appt, I asked for the specific appt and was blown off. I was told we'd never discussed any such thing, that he felt my family was taking advantage of me etc...

I left, went to my car and then texted a couple of friends while I flipped out.

I finally calmed down enough to leave but it sent me into a spiral.

It triggered a horrible downer. I barely left the house. I slept more hours than I was awake and I was livid and hurt.

I finally decided to write him a letter.

I had my husband deliver it.

When I went to my next appt -- it was ridiculous... He was accusatory, he spoke down to me, it was very much male in power holding that power over a female.
I felt victimized and abused.

He showed me his "notes" from my previous sessions with him. They were all of a few sentences.
A few sentences from 45 minute sessions.

He had to "prove" he was right.

I was in such a victimized position that I felt the only way to escape the situation was for me to apologize to him.

I asked if it would "adversely affect our dr patient relationship" and he sighed, paused and then replied "just give me some time to forget about all this."

I made a follow-up appointment, with plans to cancel it (I left a msg on the answering machine to cancel it) and then he also called me to cancel it, apparently he hadn't gotten the message (said he had a funeral).

Then I contacted my family DR (who I also have never been overly keen on) to say I needed to find a new psych.

This month I went in and I asked my family DR to see exactly what previous psych wrote in my assessment.

#1 - I was told that I could not view my assessment without the DR in the room

#2 - when DR was in the room, he glanced in my file, said the psych didn't say good things about me, that based on it my DR wouldn't assist me in applying for ODSP

I asked what was said - DR told me a certain disorder that the psych had NEVER said to me in all previous sessions...

According to the date family DR told me was on it; Psych did the assessment AFTER the falling out and after I stopped seeing him!

I did state to family DR that I was told I was bipolar, he glanced in my file again and told me, "he does mention that."

And yet my DR has the power to keep me from the assistance I could gain from ODSP.

DRs have too much power. They are supposed to work for their patients but with the shortages in Ontario, we patients end up getting screwed.

In a situation like this, I have no recourse - no alternatives.

I am on a waiting list for another psychiatrist but that doesn't help me with my family DR who I've had send me for psych referrals before and to a psychologist when I had coverage etc over the years.

Some DRs are not a "good fit" for a patient but we patients have to "take what we can get" and it sucks.

There's my vent!
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