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Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Embarrassing confessions

I have bitten my nails for the majority of my life.

As you've seen on this blog, I pull out my hair (in Grade 9 I had a small bald spot for awhile right in the front).

I also pick my skin. Hang nails, cuticles, pimples, scabs...

And I scratch myself. Sometimes till I draw blood.

I used to own a special hairbrush just for scratching myself with.

Right now my biggest issue is that I am breaking out like crazy and subsequently picking my face.

Here's the evidence...

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Monday, 24 February 2014

Emotionally raw for no apparent reason

I watched a movie today called, "Jeff, who lives at home" and I found it strangely relatable - the feeling of a lack of destiny. Looking for signs in things. Wondering if you are on the right path and people finding your thought processes strange.

I am not going to spoil the movie but towards the end I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I just started crying and couldn't stop.

It was embarrassing - even though the kids were upstairs so they didn't see or hear me...

Later on tonight I was watching "Being Erica" on Netflix and one of the eps set off the same reaction.

I have no explanation.

I don't feel right...

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Monday, 17 February 2014

Strange mood

So my sex drive is on a high. It's constantly on my mind. Been busy with Hubs every night for days. But, other than that - I've felt even more exhausted than usual.

Though I have been out of the house more recently. Last wk I was out Mon for Son's ABA, I was out Friday for my first therapy group, I was out Sunday for 2 different family outings - 1 in public and 1 with my extended family.

Today I managed to get some laundry thrown in and have a bath.

And I shaved my legs. For the first time in - well, awhile.

I think group went well on Friday.

I did have a bad turn when I lost my car key BUT I must've lost it near my vehicle since some good Samaritan tucked the key under my windshield.

So that turned despair into relief.

I'm having a hard time focusing lately. I don't *think* I'm quite as "ragey" as I was before, but it's hard to say.

The only time I feel "normal" for more than a moment here or there is when Hubs and I are having sex.

But that doesn't help me in day-to-day life...

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Sunday, 2 February 2014

All I want to do is eat

I swear, my feelings of hunger have been crazy this weekend. I eat. Then I eat again. And again.

2 bagels (one w/ butter, one w/ herb & garlic cream cheese)
Leftover mini-yellow potatoes w/ leftover homemade gravy
Special K w/ lactose free milk
3 chocolate chip cookies
A cup of milk
A large mug of tea w/ milk & a tsp of sugar
A can of Pepsi
A bottle of water
A popsicle (during a hot flash)
A rice krispie square

And, insanely enough, I am *still* hungry!!!

What the hell is wrong w/ me???

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network