Sometimes I think parenthood will be the death of me

Sad but true. The brightest parts of my life are my kids... I love them. At the same time - the temper tantrums of my oldest, I really think they will do me in.

Tonight it was over TWO HOURS of my 11-year-old freaking out because he wanted mini-doughnuts about an hour or more after he went to bed.

He came down, said he couldn't sleep and then saw the mini-doughnuts (he'd had some earlier in the day) and he demanded doughnuts.

I said no, it was well past his bedtime and he'd already brushed his teeth.

I said he could have some tomorrow and he needed to go back to bed.

Instead he immediately went into full-on tantrum mode.

Hubs and I were called "stupid", "idiot" "the worst parents ever", we were told that we "suck" and that he "hate[d]" us.

So we threw the mini-doughnuts in the garbage.

And still it went on.

Till after midnight - he kept coming back out of his room, yelling and screaming.

It's like he can't stop.

And I've read that some people with ADHD start arguments and escalate them because it does something for their brain chemistry.

I seriously wonder if my 11-year-old had ADHD as well as his ASD.
It's a tough combo. A family where everyone (except my youngest) has some diagnosis which relates to cognitive behaviour and emotional regulation.

After we finally got my 11-year-old settled down - we had a cuddle and a talk.

Here's an exact quote, "...but Mom, I just get too angry to think and I can't stop."

It feels like nothing works.

We are yellers - but we (Hubs and I) hate it.

We've tried anger time-out cards - but that didn't work.

We've tried traditional time outs.

We've tried whispering (the idea was to make the kids stop tantruming and get quieter so they could hear us).

We've tried revoking privledges.

We've tried saying "we are not talking until you settle down" and then ignoring (that time I got spit on).

We've tried walking away (and he's followed and then attached himself to my legs).

I've even locked MYSELF in my room and said I needed a time out from the situation and he sat and repeatedly kicked the door and yelled through at me. He didn't stop that time until *I* started bawling (this was last year).

I am at a loss here.

And I need to have a good cry.

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