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Friday, 31 January 2014

How Hubs and I stay together... (A theory)

It can be challenging to be in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness.

If both partners have a mental illness, the challenge multiples.

Then if there are other stress factors, it multiples exponentially.

So, frankly, sometimes I wonder how it is that Hubs and I are still together.

Here's my theory on why:

1 - We love each other. It may sound trite, but it's true.

Whereas my 1st marriage was based on a false sense of love - Hubs v1.0 misrepresented himself, and his life goals in most ways & I was suckered.

Hubs v1.0 and I are compatible as friends but intrinsically incompatible due to strong moral differences.

2 - We're honest with each other. If we're pissed off, we tell each other.

It may not be expressed calmly (or even coherently depending on the base mental state we started off the day in), but it helps that we don't have layers upon layers of resentment.

3 - We laugh together.

We have a similar sense of humour, a deep appreciation for sarcasm, and also like a lot of the same things in general.

When he first moved in with me - we discovered that we both owned the same live-action 80s Hulk DVD - it was of a couple of TV movies, Trial of the Incredible Hulk (w/ Daredevil) & The Incredible Hulk Returns.

Seemed quite a coincidence.

We have some overlap in musical likes, far more overlap in TV and movie appreciation, and enjoy some of the same books.

4 - We share similar beliefs.

In our first conversation I asked him for his opinions of and stances on religion, abortion, politics and the death penalty.

We also were raised in a similar manner in some ways.

5 - TMI warning... The sex is fantastic! And when I'm not in the mood, I still get some quality cuddling.

6 - We work on our individual issues. Some may be cyclical - but we do acknowledge and try various ways to deal with them.

7 - We are a team. A unified front with our kids and to the world.


Sorry, too tired to write more.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

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