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Tuesday, 2 October 2012

I'm so tired of feeling this way

I'm still here.

Tears running down my cheeks.
I feel so fucking tired. Yet I am sleeping way more the past while than I should.

Why is it always the extremes? Way too little sleep to way too much??

I keep thinking about respite but I worry about how things would go without me around here.

I keep going back and forth on whether or not I should be talking to somebody about those thoughts in my head...

I mean it's suicidal ideation. It's not making plans and I'm not walking around outside alone so I'm not at risk for the impulse control.

But then I come across blogs or tweets or links or whatever where other people think this stuff is more serious or give it more credence than I do.

Perhaps because I can remember dealing with this in high school and even in grade school.

So many years later and I'm still here.

I just don't know what I should be doing.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network


  1. I can really recommend therapy, if not medication. I'm trying to figure out which has had the best effect on me recently, but both together seems to be the best answer. I have been where you are, and I appreciate the relief from that, if not complete health, at least relief.

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