After that last post I had one of those moments where I just crashed.
Before the meds I could hit a bunch of highs and lows all in one day or I
could go weeks or months in a depressive state with an occasional 4 day
high.
Yesterday I had a decent day. Overall emotionally neutral.
I felt rather apathetic when I woke up today. Had a bit of a headache.
Went for the drive with my friend and my toddler. Came home. Wrote the
other post. Started the silent crying.
Where your chest is tight and aching and your throat burns and the tears
stream from the corners of your eyes while your stomach churns.
And the only feelings you can accurately define are shame, guilt and disappointment.
But that's for a two-tiered reason.
#1 - Because I feel like this shouldn't be my life/reality
#2 - Because I KNOW I am being too hard on myself and unfair to myself
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
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