So the panic attack/paranoia thing had me really off-kilter yesterday and getting dragged out by some of my friends and having a few drinks gave me an opportunity to dance the tensions off.
And I realize as I type that statement that it comes across as one of self-defense or denial or something....
But I don't know how else to express it.
All i can say that when my beautiful friend picked me up that she and I had some lengthy girl talk and then i caught her up a bit on my mental state and then we went in and she bought me the shooter and my first vodka & 7.
And my friends bought me 2 more before the night was over.
So willpower 0.
I need to find something HEALTHY that can make me feel as relaxed and happy as alcohol consumption can.
Maybe it will be the gym?
A local gym had an amazing deal on. A few of my friends have memberships there and one of my friends has worked there for about 3 years so it gives it some credibility of safety and the gym itself has had a good vibe the times I've been through there.
MOH and I both got memberships because at $10/month per person, how can you go wrong?
It will help us get healthier, which is important in our 40s, especially when our youngest won't be 3 until next year.
And exercise is supposed to help people with bipolar, depression etc...
I am irritated because even though MOH arranged to have someone come over and see him today - he hasn't tidied up anything since making those arrangements days ago.
OK so maybe I'm only in a marginally better mood today.