So, next Sat is my out-of-town psych appt & yesterday I got a distressing call from the person who had committed to driving me.
I still haven't figured out a solution. And now I cannot sleep.
I think I may have written previously in my blog that I was trying not to get my hopes up and tempt the universe into fucking me over.
Well, idiot that I am - what do you all think I did at my therapy group on Friday?
I talked about my hopes for my psych appt.
Now it's all in jeopardy!
Sat is a very busy day for a lot of my near and dear -- moving, job-related commitments, activity/sports commitments & the need for childcare if Hubs ends up having to take me.
Plus he has a volunteer event that day that he doesn't want to miss.
I feel hopeless and sad.
Makes you just want to go sit in a snowbank and fall asleep and never wake up.
NOTE: this is not a plan of any sort - it is an expression of how pointless everything feels right now.
I wish I was alone and I could crank up some angry music and just bawl my eyes out.
But I can't - I'd wake Hubs and the kids and disturb the neighbours.
My fingers are already too sore from biting and picking throughout the day.
And I don't cut myself anymore.
If I eat, I think I'd throw up... I don't have any alcohol in the house and Hubs was too tired for sex.
I'm at a loss.
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