I have been - well some might say "obsessing over" but I prefer to re-frame it as - "considering this topic quite seriously for a significant portion of time."
I have previously brought friends with me to medical doctor appointments with me because I tend to get nervous and overwhelmed and I've gotten them to pay attention to the details for me.
But this is different.
I've thought of bringing someone along with me to listen to Dr. Cool and help me interpret what his intent is since I sometimes seem to be questioning what his hidden agenda is (because there always has to be a hidden agenda according to the way I view the world, when it comes to this sort of thing which is why I simply cannot bring myself to share EVERYTHING).
The other thought is to bring one of my close friends with me. Not MOH because he is too emotionally involved with me to be clear-headed in this sort of scenario, plus he has a tough time structuring his own thoughts...
Just one of my close friends who can maybe help explain or discuss the things that I find difficult opening up to Dr. Cool about and maybe interpreting ME to him so that he better understands that unless someone gets to know me really well so that I am comfortable letting them in a bit more, people don't really get to see any of my real vulnerability.
I am the person who others come to for help and advice. Because I care and because I actually am pretty damn good at it. I'm just blind when it comes to myself in a lot of ways because I can only see myself in an unemotional way.
My emotions - at least the ones that hurt - are not connected to me. A number of years ago I saw a movie starring Matthew Perry and I really identified with so much of how his character was that I even looked up the condition his character had because it seemed so much like me.
The movie was called "Numb" and his character had depersonalization disorder & clinical depression.
At that time I was feeling very much as if I was watching my life like a movie, which is something I have experienced a lot in my life at various times because I tend to be fairly disconnected from my emotions. Though I do try to be connected to the happy ones, like happiness and joy and love.
Back to the purpose of this post though.
I tend to go off on tangents when trying to present some of my beliefs and feelings. Plus I get afraid of telling Dr. Cool everything because I have a great fear of being "formed" and being put away against my wishes for by a whim.
I've heard those questions... "Do you believe you have a super-power?"
No, not a super-power BUT believing in the power of magic and of prayer and spells is about my spiritual belief system but that might not be how Dr. Cool would see it.
Or believing that people are out to get you. Why wouldn't there be people out to get me?
Let's look at it this way - I was abused as a child for no reason other than the person who did it decided I was someone he wanted to abuse. I was abused by two other people as a child as well.
Then I was date-raped on more than one occasion and I eluded some attempts by other men more than once in my teens and 20s.
I was involved in a couple of abusive relationships in my life before I met MOH.
So looking at all that -- why is it "crazy" or "paranoid" to believe or feel or worry that there could be people I know or have known or even total strangers to me who are out to get me???
It's a damned dangerous world. My experiences tell me so.
What's that saying, burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice shame on me -- well how many times have I been burned by men (in general) in my life so far?
I don't call it paranoia, I call it PRECAUTIONARY!!!!!!!
I know I'll get riled and defensive if I try to explain that to Dr. Calm - but maybe one of my friends could do it for me?
So who needs the interpreter? The Doctor or the Patient?
Or is it better to look at it like simply bringing along an advocate?
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
Something that's been making the rounds lately
OK so this is a blog post that was made a year ago but it still relates to people today.
And, sadly, it will probably relate for years to come just as it has in the past. We women say these things to ourselves in the form of negative self-talk.
Our friends and families have said this to us, our teachers, our peers, our colleagues, our employers, our significant (or maybe past INsignificant others have done so).
Maybe we've had a doctor or therapist even say something like this to us. Hell, maybe even our kids have done it and said things like this to us.
Society, the media, the infamous and insidious "THEY" have drilled these sorts of messages into us -- and I'm sure we've all had a moment or even more where we've done it to someone else, whether it was to someone female or male. And whether or not we are willing to admit it to ourselves else or not.
The blog post I am speaking of is from here: http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/#more-361
And here is a quote from the post:
The post focuses mainly on men who do this to women but, frankly, it's done by a lot of people to others, regardless of gender. Though I will say I have experienced a lot of it in previous romantic relationships.
So, since I am still sick and, apparently, spending most of my day nauseous, with a fever and frequent trips to the bathroom doesn't allow much time for any other issues to arise because the rest of the family is treating me with supreme kindness and doing their best to keep it quiet and peaceful around here (other than some short-lived tantruming this morning from my son) I don't have much else to report.
And, sadly, it will probably relate for years to come just as it has in the past. We women say these things to ourselves in the form of negative self-talk.
Our friends and families have said this to us, our teachers, our peers, our colleagues, our employers, our significant (or maybe past INsignificant others have done so).
Maybe we've had a doctor or therapist even say something like this to us. Hell, maybe even our kids have done it and said things like this to us.
Society, the media, the infamous and insidious "THEY" have drilled these sorts of messages into us -- and I'm sure we've all had a moment or even more where we've done it to someone else, whether it was to someone female or male. And whether or not we are willing to admit it to ourselves else or not.
The blog post I am speaking of is from here: http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog/2011/09/12/a-message-to-women-from-a-man-you-are-not-%E2%80%9Ccrazy%E2%80%9D/#more-361
And here is a quote from the post:
"Those who engage in gaslighting create a reaction—whether it’s anger, frustration, sadness—in the person they are dealing with. Then, when that person reacts, the gaslighter makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure by behaving as if their feelings aren’t rational or normal."
The post focuses mainly on men who do this to women but, frankly, it's done by a lot of people to others, regardless of gender. Though I will say I have experienced a lot of it in previous romantic relationships.
So, since I am still sick and, apparently, spending most of my day nauseous, with a fever and frequent trips to the bathroom doesn't allow much time for any other issues to arise because the rest of the family is treating me with supreme kindness and doing their best to keep it quiet and peaceful around here (other than some short-lived tantruming this morning from my son) I don't have much else to report.
Monday, 27 August 2012
Puberty in our house!!!
So our oldest kids have been a bit emotionally behind others their age so although our 12-year-old requires a bra, we haven't had to deal with any other "cusp of womanhood" things in reality, though we have had many preparatory talks.
And our 10-year-old, although oblivious to his capabilities as a ladies man, has given us no real issues other than complaining over a lack of body hair and general height.
That is until recently.
He has had a few talks to me about erections. Because he's been experiencing random ones.
As a Mom, this is a tough one. But he always confides in me. We are a lot alike and I "get" him better than anyone else (or I am experiencing delusions of grandeur, who knows?)
So as difficult as it may be to talk about this with him, I'm also proud that he knows that he can talk to me about anything.
----
Totally random memory moment about my boy:
In Junior Kindergarten, they had a Mom Day at my son's class. He was attending a special school so his class consisted of 8 students
All the kids who were verbal were introducing their Moms with, "My Mommy's name is Mommy."
The teacher gets to my son who yells out, "My Mommy's name is Flabbergasted Mom the First!"
Because he used my full legal name and was the only child in his class to do so.
I still smile when I think of it.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
And our 10-year-old, although oblivious to his capabilities as a ladies man, has given us no real issues other than complaining over a lack of body hair and general height.
That is until recently.
He has had a few talks to me about erections. Because he's been experiencing random ones.
As a Mom, this is a tough one. But he always confides in me. We are a lot alike and I "get" him better than anyone else (or I am experiencing delusions of grandeur, who knows?)
So as difficult as it may be to talk about this with him, I'm also proud that he knows that he can talk to me about anything.
----
Totally random memory moment about my boy:
In Junior Kindergarten, they had a Mom Day at my son's class. He was attending a special school so his class consisted of 8 students
All the kids who were verbal were introducing their Moms with, "My Mommy's name is Mommy."
The teacher gets to my son who yells out, "My Mommy's name is Flabbergasted Mom the First!"
Because he used my full legal name and was the only child in his class to do so.
I still smile when I think of it.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Sunday, 26 August 2012
I blame Sister Coughing Lady
Guess who has been spending way too much time in the bathroom for the later part of the day?
Yep.
C'est moi.
And I just went bilingual on your ass! ;)
At first I wondered if I caught something when I voted at the early polling station today but then I thought about the coughing lady I encountered at the Family History conference yesterday.
Arrrgh.
Hopefully this is a 24 hour thing.
In other news, MOH and I had a pretty good week but there have been a lot of quick blow-ups.
For that, I blame housework/organization.
I am sipping some Pepsi (the ultimate internal cure-all) out of my Wonder Woman cup in the hopes that it helps me feel better since I haven't really eaten today.
This better be a 24 hour thing.
And I know I already said it but I really mean it!!
I think I need to sack out again now that MOH and the kids are upstairs.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Yep.
C'est moi.
And I just went bilingual on your ass! ;)
At first I wondered if I caught something when I voted at the early polling station today but then I thought about the coughing lady I encountered at the Family History conference yesterday.
Arrrgh.
Hopefully this is a 24 hour thing.
In other news, MOH and I had a pretty good week but there have been a lot of quick blow-ups.
For that, I blame housework/organization.
I am sipping some Pepsi (the ultimate internal cure-all) out of my Wonder Woman cup in the hopes that it helps me feel better since I haven't really eaten today.
This better be a 24 hour thing.
And I know I already said it but I really mean it!!
I think I need to sack out again now that MOH and the kids are upstairs.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Organization thy name is truly Hell
I really, really, really suck at this sort of thing. So does MOH. But at the same time I am determined to get some structure and routine in our lives.
But I feel like I am not only at odds with my family but also battling against my own intrinsic nature!
*sigh*
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
But I feel like I am not only at odds with my family but also battling against my own intrinsic nature!
*sigh*
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Saturday, 25 August 2012
Finally, a quiet moment
The computer has been defragging for over an hour.
Today ended up being a good day once my meds kicked in :)
Being in a place I've never been before, with a LOT of strangers, who were far more outgoing than I had anticipated and on yet another crappy night's sleep was not a recipe for success but I actually quite enjoyed myself overall once my nerves calmed down.
Three things I thought would have been an improvement:
- the seminars all being based towards FREE ways to source and cite and research and to make our info available to researchers of the future
- every guest filling in a sheet with the names of our ancestors back 6 generations (if known) at time of registration for connections to be looked for and handed out when picking up our packages in the morning
- NO politics!!!! I could give a rat's ass what msg freakin' Stephen Harper had for us this morning (and I'd feel the same if Jack Layton was alive and he'd become Prime Minister since I voted NDP in the last election!)
What else did I learn today?
Mormons refer to one another as Brother and Sister and I was told by someone non-Mormon that they either do not consume coffee specifically or caffeine in any form (or someone could have been pulling my leg)
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Today ended up being a good day once my meds kicked in :)
Being in a place I've never been before, with a LOT of strangers, who were far more outgoing than I had anticipated and on yet another crappy night's sleep was not a recipe for success but I actually quite enjoyed myself overall once my nerves calmed down.
Three things I thought would have been an improvement:
- the seminars all being based towards FREE ways to source and cite and research and to make our info available to researchers of the future
- every guest filling in a sheet with the names of our ancestors back 6 generations (if known) at time of registration for connections to be looked for and handed out when picking up our packages in the morning
- NO politics!!!! I could give a rat's ass what msg freakin' Stephen Harper had for us this morning (and I'd feel the same if Jack Layton was alive and he'd become Prime Minister since I voted NDP in the last election!)
What else did I learn today?
Mormons refer to one another as Brother and Sister and I was told by someone non-Mormon that they either do not consume coffee specifically or caffeine in any form (or someone could have been pulling my leg)
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
I'm in an LDS church and I want to go home!
No, I haven't been kidnapped, consumed any Kool-Aid, been converted, transformed or heard the word, call or whatever.
At a point and time far earlier this year when I was living, breathing and forgoing sleep in the pursuit of my newest obsessive passion which was genealogy (which I still enjoy but at a far more reasonable and moderate pace) I decided to pre-register and pay to attend a Family History conference being held in my town.
Of course I was also feeling a lot more "up" then.
Well, it's today.
And I'm here.
I am sitting at the back of a room, as far away from everyone else as possible, and the friendly, well-meaning Mormons keep coming over to say hello while I am taking my stupid Rescue Remedy drops (meant to alleviate anxiety as one of my diagnoses is social anxiety disorder) but which seems to be doing exactly NOTHING!!
And I have to pee but I am afraid that there will be more friendly people who will have conversational expectations of me if I go into the bathroom because, well hell - that's a trueism that entertainment media got right... Women DO talk in the bathroom!
It's not even 9 a.m. And this goes till 4!!!
What the hell am I going to do? There is a limited amount of genealogical related literature for me to read, then re-read and then pretend to read until the seminars begin!!!!!
And I read REALLY fast!
Plus all my previous years in retail may even allow me to wait to pee until this whole event is over, like a camel. Isn't it camels that don't have to pee very often? I know they don't have to drink very often so it would make sense that they also don't pee a lot.
Old ladies are staring at me now. Like "why is that girl in the pigtails playing with her phone?"
If it was my son, he'd be hoping I downloaded a game or something cool. But the old ladies probably think I am pretending to be on the phone so I don't have to talk to them (because they can SEE I'm clearly not on the phone since it's not up to my ear and I'm not even talking) and now the one who came and sat two seats away from me where there are literally at least 100 other seats is coughing!
I can't remember if coughing is a sign of West Nile or not but I was scratching a mosquito bite the other night and then the news came on and they were talking about West Nile being an epidemic and that there were at least 30 cases in Toronto (which isn't that far from here).
It's getting too busy in this room. I am going to walk outside because I can't breathe in here anymore.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
At a point and time far earlier this year when I was living, breathing and forgoing sleep in the pursuit of my newest obsessive passion which was genealogy (which I still enjoy but at a far more reasonable and moderate pace) I decided to pre-register and pay to attend a Family History conference being held in my town.
Of course I was also feeling a lot more "up" then.
Well, it's today.
And I'm here.
I am sitting at the back of a room, as far away from everyone else as possible, and the friendly, well-meaning Mormons keep coming over to say hello while I am taking my stupid Rescue Remedy drops (meant to alleviate anxiety as one of my diagnoses is social anxiety disorder) but which seems to be doing exactly NOTHING!!
And I have to pee but I am afraid that there will be more friendly people who will have conversational expectations of me if I go into the bathroom because, well hell - that's a trueism that entertainment media got right... Women DO talk in the bathroom!
It's not even 9 a.m. And this goes till 4!!!
What the hell am I going to do? There is a limited amount of genealogical related literature for me to read, then re-read and then pretend to read until the seminars begin!!!!!
And I read REALLY fast!
Plus all my previous years in retail may even allow me to wait to pee until this whole event is over, like a camel. Isn't it camels that don't have to pee very often? I know they don't have to drink very often so it would make sense that they also don't pee a lot.
Old ladies are staring at me now. Like "why is that girl in the pigtails playing with her phone?"
If it was my son, he'd be hoping I downloaded a game or something cool. But the old ladies probably think I am pretending to be on the phone so I don't have to talk to them (because they can SEE I'm clearly not on the phone since it's not up to my ear and I'm not even talking) and now the one who came and sat two seats away from me where there are literally at least 100 other seats is coughing!
I can't remember if coughing is a sign of West Nile or not but I was scratching a mosquito bite the other night and then the news came on and they were talking about West Nile being an epidemic and that there were at least 30 cases in Toronto (which isn't that far from here).
It's getting too busy in this room. I am going to walk outside because I can't breathe in here anymore.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Friday, 24 August 2012
I want purple hair
I want a hair cut. I want amazing purple hair and I want it now. But I can't do it. I'm too fat for the hair cut I want and I totally suck at dyeing my hair. I always manage to miss like a big patch of hair on one side of my head but the purple dye I like the best is so damn messy I can't really ask anyone to help me with it. But at the same time now I am a bit paranoid that if I change my hair that suddenly it takes on some new meaning.
Keep in mind that since I first started dyeing my hair 22 years ago that I tend to whine and bitch about my hair for a bit and then BOOM new hair for me!
So now it's like what if it's looked upon like a sign of something more? Was it actually Freud who said that sometime a cigar is just a cigar or is that some shit I read on the internet?
Got some other stuff on my mind since one of my good friends is at the hospital with her mom but I don't want to think about that stuff so this is all you are getting from me for now.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Keep in mind that since I first started dyeing my hair 22 years ago that I tend to whine and bitch about my hair for a bit and then BOOM new hair for me!
So now it's like what if it's looked upon like a sign of something more? Was it actually Freud who said that sometime a cigar is just a cigar or is that some shit I read on the internet?
Got some other stuff on my mind since one of my good friends is at the hospital with her mom but I don't want to think about that stuff so this is all you are getting from me for now.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Still obsessing over my last psych appt
So I still can't decide how I want to address it with dr. Calm because my last appt was the 2nd time where I was left wondering whether or not his behaviour was meant to trick or entice me into an emotional response beyond what I would normally display.
But what do I say? Because I think I would come across as accusatory and adversarial if I say that to him. And despite what he has said to me before I really don't think that I can address how I feel about issues about him WITH him.
There's some thing that one of my friends mentioned to me about when you are interacting with people and knowing if you are in the role of a Parent, Adult or Child and which of those 3 roles the other person is in and by being more mindful of which role we are in - we can better control ourselves to move into a role more conduscive to a successful interaction.
It's some idea from the 60s I think.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
But what do I say? Because I think I would come across as accusatory and adversarial if I say that to him. And despite what he has said to me before I really don't think that I can address how I feel about issues about him WITH him.
There's some thing that one of my friends mentioned to me about when you are interacting with people and knowing if you are in the role of a Parent, Adult or Child and which of those 3 roles the other person is in and by being more mindful of which role we are in - we can better control ourselves to move into a role more conduscive to a successful interaction.
It's some idea from the 60s I think.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
To join a gym or not???
I have been kicking around the idea of joining a gym though. A local one has a hell of a deal on right now. But the deal ends on the 28th (and I just learned of it yesterday).
$44 for initial sign-up (includes membership fee, membership card, one month deposit) and then it's $10/month + tax.
Though twice a year you pay an extra $20 to keep the price at $10/month.
Normally it's a $99 sign-up fee and $45/ per month.
The downfalls are:
- will I *GO* to the damn gym enough
- it's about a 25 minute drive from my place which would blow come winter time
- wondering if I may be freaked out to go when it's a slow time at the gym
Upsides are:
- great monthly price which will stay that way so long as one remains a member
- open 24 hrs Sun - Fri, reduced hrs on Saturdays
- male/female gym (I hate gyms that are just for women because the really fit women intimidate me and then I don't want to go)
- childcare $3 for 2 hrs max but I think, in general, MOH and I would go at different times if we both joined, it might even be a go-to if we had a fight as a way to work off some anger
Thoughts?
$44 for initial sign-up (includes membership fee, membership card, one month deposit) and then it's $10/month + tax.
Though twice a year you pay an extra $20 to keep the price at $10/month.
Normally it's a $99 sign-up fee and $45/ per month.
The downfalls are:
- will I *GO* to the damn gym enough
- it's about a 25 minute drive from my place which would blow come winter time
- wondering if I may be freaked out to go when it's a slow time at the gym
Upsides are:
- great monthly price which will stay that way so long as one remains a member
- open 24 hrs Sun - Fri, reduced hrs on Saturdays
- male/female gym (I hate gyms that are just for women because the really fit women intimidate me and then I don't want to go)
- childcare $3 for 2 hrs max but I think, in general, MOH and I would go at different times if we both joined, it might even be a go-to if we had a fight as a way to work off some anger
Thoughts?
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
Why do I care what guys think?
All the way back to Kindergarten, I was all about external validation from males.
Feeling better about myself when boys (and later on, men) noticed me and paid attention to me.
I couldn't (and still have great difficulty) mustering self-esteem but I can feel esteem when I receive forms of external validation from men.
Being complimented or flirted with or even spoken to as an equal makes me feel good about myself. But why is that?
It's nice when women behave that way with me as well but it doesn't have the same effect on me. Nor does it generate the same internal feelings.
Typing it out:
Feeling better about myself when boys (and later on, men) noticed me and paid attention to me.
I couldn't (and still have great difficulty) mustering self-esteem but I can feel esteem when I receive forms of external validation from men.
Being complimented or flirted with or even spoken to as an equal makes me feel good about myself. But why is that?
It's nice when women behave that way with me as well but it doesn't have the same effect on me. Nor does it generate the same internal feelings.
Typing it out:
- As a child I liked having "boyfriends" in grade school because it made me feel normal
- MOH suggested it might have been an early manifestation of my need to always have people around me
- Being around others also made it more difficult for [the bully] to get at me, as he only did things to me when we were alone
- I was often teased for being ugly so having "boyfriends" counter-acted those hurtful words
- there wasn't a lot of affection in my family growing up, so I got that from my boyfriends as I grew older
- I have never believed that I was or am "pretty" or "beautiful" - I will say I can be "cute" or "interesting looking" and occasionally "sexy" but it takes some effort & being flirted with by ex-lovers or others makes me think that maybe I still have some spark that can attract people <I know MOH loves me no matter how fat I am because he loves me for my soul and my mind>
- Knowing that people are attracted to me but that I am faithful to MOH gives me control of a situation, plus esteem and pride at my own morals
- I see the worth in other people in their personalities and behaviour and how they live their lives but I find it impossible to view myself in that manner and I have not figured out how to re-frame myself in the same way
Wifey made me post this - My Insanity Score...
Your Sanity Score
135
(The Sanity Score is based upon a scientific algorithm with scores ranging from 0 - 288.)
Your specific subscores are below (subscales range from 0 - 100). Under the graph of subscores, you will find additional information regarding the meaning of any significant scores or areas that may be of concern.
| General Coping |
93 |
| Life Events |
38 |
| Depression |
53 |
| Anxiety |
66 |
| Phobias |
42 |
| Self-Esteem |
33 |
| Eating Disorders |
35 |
| Schizophrenia |
25 |
| Dissociation |
58 |
| Mania |
40 |
| Sexual Issues |
13 |
| Relationship Issues |
38 |
| Alcohol |
0 |
| Drugs |
0 |
| Physical Issues |
33 |
| Smoking Issues |
0 |
| Gambling Issues |
0 |
| Technology Issues |
88 |
| Obsessions/Compulsions |
56 |
| Posttraumatic Stress |
58 |
| Borderline Traits |
79
|
Your BMI: 29.6Your body mass index (BMI) is a measure of body fat based on height and weight that applies to both adult men and women. BMI correlates with body fat. The relation between fatness and BMI differs with age and gender. For example, women are more likely to have a higher percent of body fat than men for the same BMI. On average, older people may have more body fat than younger adults with the same BMI. |
|
General Coping:
People with similar scores as yours tend to feel overwhelmed by life or
specific things in life right now.
You appear to express a great degree of unhappiness with life right
now, which strongly suggests a change would be helpful, such
as seeking out professional help or talking to a doctor about your
concerns.
Life Events: You're experiencing events in your life that may be negatively affecting your overall mental health and your ability to cope with other things in your life. This may also affect your mood.
Depression:
People with scores similar to yours
are typically suffering from a moderate to severe depressive episode. This is also known as clinical depression or just plain depression.
People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for
a diagnosis of major depression and have sought professional
treatment for this disorder.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible depressive disorder.
Take Action for Depression:
Anxiety:
People with scores similar to yours
may be suffering from moderate to high anxiety,
symptoms that might typically qualify a person for the diagnosis
of an anxiety disorder.
Sometimes people who feel such anxiety symptoms don't realize
that their body may be trying to tell them something.
Look for patterns in your behavior, such as when and what
circumstances under which you experience the symptoms
you've described. For example, if it occurs prior to public
speaking and your job requires a lot of presentations you may
want to find ways to calm yourself before speaking or let
others do some of the presentations.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible anxiety disorder.
The most common anxiety disorders diagnosed are either panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.
Take Action for Anxiety:
Phobias:
People with scores similar to yours express some irrational fears of certain specific
object or situations, such as being afraid of heights, snakes, or enclosed spaces.
Generally, however, most people with this level of fear simply avoid the specific
objects or situations in their lives and are not bothered enough by the fears to
have it interrupt their everyday lives.
Self-Esteem: People with scores similar to yours express some minor concerns with their self-esteem. Self-esteem is most often the product of our upbringing and personalities. It is something that a self-help book or psychotherapist can help a person learn to readily improve in even just a few sessions. Generally, however, most people have some minor self-esteem issues and often don't seek out assistance for this issue.
Eating Disorders: People with scores similar to yours often have a trait or two associated with an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia. Eating disorders occur due to poor self-image and self-esteem, often as a result of childhood experiences. People with scores similar to yours often go through life with a somewhat unhealthy attitude and approach to eating, but aren't bothered by it enough to seek professional assistance for it. If it is causing you concern, however, you should consider talking to a therapist who specializes in eating disorders.
Your body mass index suggests you may also be overweight, which could be causing you additional stress.
Take Action for an Eating Disorder:
Schizophrenia:
People with scores similar to yours sometimes exhibit a symptom or two that may be
consistent with schizophrenia, or a schizophrenia-related disorder.
This doesn't mean you have schizophrenia, as some traits and symptoms may be found
in people who do not qualify for a schizophrenia diagnosis. But it is something
to be aware, especially if you are a teenager or in early adulthood (when schizophrenia
is commonly diagnosed).
Take Action for Schizophrenia:
Dissociation:
People with scores similar to yours may have something called
dissociation or a dissociative identity disorder.
Dissociation is a mental process, which produces a lack of connection
in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of
identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating,
certain information is not associated with other information as it
normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person
may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma
from his ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the
fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap
surrounding the experience.
You can learn more about dissociative disorders here.
People with this sort of issue often seek out professional treatment for their concern from a therapist with experience in treating dissociation.
Mania & Bipolar Disorder: People with scores similar to yours often complain of symptoms commonly associated with bipolar disorder (also known as manic-depression), or a minor form of bipolar disorder (called bipolar II). Bipolar disorder is characterized by a swing in moods from depression to mania (having racing thoughts, an excess of energy, inability to maintain attention, etc.). Bipolar disorder at this level may interfere with a person's normal, everyday life and sometimes impair functioning in social relationships, work, school, and other areas of one's life. You can learn more about the symptoms and types of bipolar disorder here.
People who report similar levels of bipolar symptoms may benefit from professional treatment for their concern through a combination of psychotherapy and medication.
Relationship Issues: People with scores similar to yours often have a minor or moderate relationship issue that is causing them some concern.
Physical Issues: People with scores similar to yours often have a physical issue that causes them some concern or effort in their daily lives.
Technology Issues:
People with scores similar to yours often complain about having difficulty controlling
their time or use of the Internet and other technologies.
People with this sort of problem often identify it as being "addicted to the Internet."
Some therapists
may be able to help you with this issue and reduce your Internet use or use of other technologies so
that it interferes less with important relationships in your life, such as those with your
friends, family, or significant other.
Obsessions & Compulsions:
People with scores similar to yours
often have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
You can view symptoms and
treatment options for this disorder.
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.
However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you
to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental
health professional in your community at your earliest convenience.
Take Action for Obsessions/Compulsions:
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
a disorder characterized
by reliving a suffered trauma through flashbacks, nightmares or other recollections of the event.
This is a serious concern that often requires professional treatment.
If you suspect you may have PTSD as a result of a childhood trauma, you may also
want to take our PTSD for child injury quiz.
Borderline Traits:
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
borderline personality disorder.
Recommendations
You have 8 serious concerns that we've identified.
Generally such concerns should be checked out with a mental health professional
as soon as you can. You can find a mental health professional within your local
community through your insurance provider or through
an online
therapist directory.
Get help immediately if these concerns are overwhelming or you feel your health
or safety is at risk.
You have 8 milder concerns that we've identified. Such concerns may be a part of an ordinary person's usual up's and down's in life. However, if any of these issues cause you worry or concern, please consult with your physician or a mental health professional for further information.
Please remember, this is not a diagnosis or diagnostic test.
It is only a general screening to give you a broad understanding of the
mental health concerns you may be facing right now in your life.
Sanity Quiz... oh look at this...
No comments on this - just posting the results...
And if you want to try it out yourself go to: http://www.sanityscore.com/
Based upon your answers, you appear to be experiencing a great deal of distress at the moment --
your overall mental health is greatly affected by this distress.
People with similar scores experience life as overwhelming and have a great deal of difficulty
in coping with life, relationships, work or school.
If you have been feeling this way for longer than 2 weeks' time, people similar to you have sought
out professional care from a mental health professional, such as a psychologist, psychotherapist
or psychiatrist.
(The Sanity Score is based upon a scientific algorithm with scores ranging from 0 - 288.)
Your specific subscores are below (subscales range from 0 - 100). Under the graph of subscores, you will find additional information regarding the meaning of any significant scores or areas that may be of concern.
General Coping:
People with similar scores as yours tend to feel overwhelmed by life or
specific things in life right now.
You appear to express a great degree of unhappiness with life right
now, which strongly suggests a change would be helpful, such
as seeking out professional help or talking to a doctor about your
concerns.
Life Events: You're experiencing events in your life that may be negatively affecting your overall mental health and your ability to cope with other things in your life. This may also affect your mood.
Depression:
People with scores similar to yours
are typically suffering from a moderate to severe depressive episode. This is also known as clinical depression or just plain depression.
People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for
a diagnosis of major depression and have sought professional
treatment for this disorder.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible depressive disorder.
Anxiety:
People with scores similar to yours
may be suffering from moderate to high anxiety,
symptoms that might typically qualify a person for the diagnosis
of an anxiety disorder.
Sometimes people who feel such anxiety symptoms don't realize
that their body may be trying to tell them something.
Look for patterns in your behavior, such as when and what
circumstances under which you experience the symptoms
you've described. For example, if it occurs prior to public
speaking and your job requires a lot of presentations you may
want to find ways to calm yourself before speaking or let
others do some of the presentations.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible anxiety disorder.
The most common anxiety disorders diagnosed are either panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.
Phobias:
People with scores similar to yours typically are diagnosed with a simple or specific phobia,
which is an irrational fear of certain objects or situations, such as being
afraid of heights, snakes, or enclosed spaces. Generally most people with this
kind of concern simply avoid the object or situation. If it is of serious
concern, often people with similar scores will seek out professional help to
cure the person of the irrational fear. Such therapy usually only takes a dozen or
so sessions, and in some cases much less.
Self-Esteem:
People with scores similar to yours express some major concerns with their self-esteem.
Self-esteem is most often the product of our upbringing and personalities. It is
something that a self-help book or psychotherapist can help a person learn to
readily improve in even just a few sessions.
Eating Disorders:
People with scores similar to yours are often diagnosed with an eating disorder, such as
anorexia or
bulimia.
Eating disorders occur mostly in women and are due to poor self-image and self-esteem, often as a result of childhood
experiences.
You can read up on
treatment information for
anorexia or
bulimia.
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.
However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you
to seek additional assistance from a mental
health professional who specializes in eating disorders within your community.
Your body mass index suggests you may also be dealing with obesity as an ongoing life issue.
Dissociation:
People with scores similar to yours may have something called
dissociation or a dissociative identity disorder.
Dissociation is a mental process, which produces a lack of connection
in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of
identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating,
certain information is not associated with other information as it
normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person
may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma
from his ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the
fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap
surrounding the experience.
You can learn more about dissociative disorders here.
People with this sort of issue often seek out professional treatment for their concern from a therapist with experience in treating dissociation.
Mania & Bipolar Disorder:
People with scores similar to yours often complain of symptoms commonly associated with bipolar
disorder (also known as manic-depression).
Bipolar disorder is characterized by a swing in moods from depression to mania (having racing thoughts,
an excess of energy, inability to maintain attention, etc.). Bipolar disorder at this level can
seriously interfere with a person's normal, everyday life and impair functioning in social
relationships, work, school, and other areas of one's life.
You can learn more about the symptoms and
types of bipolar disorder here.
People who report similar levels of bipolar symptoms often benefit from professional treatment for their concern through a combination of psychotherapy and medication.
Relationship Issues:
People with scores similar to yours often complain about one or more serious relationship issues.
Relationship issues at this level are often serious and can result in a relationship failing
if they are not addressed by both parties (through some type of intervention, whether it
be a self-help book or couple's counseling or such).
Alcohol/Drug Issues: People with scores similar to yours often have an ongoing but moderate problem with either alcohol or drugs. People often believe the problem is "under control," but whether it actually is or not really depends on specific factors in your life. If others in your life have talked to you about your alcohol or drug use, and you still have not reduced it, that may be an indication of a more serious issue that you should seek help for.
Technology Issues:
People with scores similar to yours often complain about having difficulty controlling
their time or use of the Internet and other technologies.
People with this sort of problem often identify it as being "addicted to the Internet."
Some therapists
may be able to help you with this issue and reduce your Internet use or use of other technologies so
that it interferes less with important relationships in your life, such as those with your
friends, family, or significant other.
Obsessions & Compulsions:
People with scores similar to yours
often have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
You can view symptoms and
treatment options for this disorder.
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.
However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you
to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental
health professional in your community at your earliest convenience.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
a disorder characterized
by reliving a suffered trauma through flashbacks, nightmares or other recollections of the event.
This is a serious concern that often requires professional treatment.
If you suspect you may have PTSD as a result of a childhood trauma, you may also
want to take our PTSD for child injury quiz.
Borderline Traits:
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
borderline personality disorder.
You have 13 serious concerns that we've identified.
Generally such concerns should be checked out with a mental health professional
as soon as you can. You can find a mental health professional within your local
community through your insurance provider or through
an online
therapist directory.
Get help immediately if these concerns are overwhelming or you feel your health
or safety is at risk.
You have 3 milder concerns that we've identified. Such concerns may be a part of an ordinary person's usual up's and down's in life. However, if any of these issues cause you worry or concern, please consult with your physician or a mental health professional for further information.
And if you want to try it out yourself go to: http://www.sanityscore.com/
Your Sanity Score
168
(The Sanity Score is based upon a scientific algorithm with scores ranging from 0 - 288.)
Your specific subscores are below (subscales range from 0 - 100). Under the graph of subscores, you will find additional information regarding the meaning of any significant scores or areas that may be of concern.
| General Coping |
79 |
| Life Events |
25 |
| Depression |
78 |
| Anxiety |
78 |
| Phobias |
92 |
| Self-Esteem |
100 |
| Eating Disorders |
65 |
| Schizophrenia |
35 |
| Dissociation |
67 |
| Mania |
55 |
| Sexual Issues |
19 |
| Relationship Issues |
56 |
| Alcohol |
42 |
| Drugs |
8 |
| Physical Issues |
17 |
| Smoking Issues |
0 |
| Gambling Issues |
0 |
| Technology Issues |
81 |
| Obsessions/Compulsions |
75 |
| Posttraumatic Stress |
92 |
| Borderline Traits |
71
|
Your BMI: 40Your body mass index (BMI) is a measure of body fat based on height and weight that applies to both adult men and women. BMI correlates with body fat. The relation between fatness and BMI differs with age and gender. For example, women are more likely to have a higher percent of body fat than men for the same BMI. On average, older people may have more body fat than younger adults with the same BMI. |
|
General Coping:
People with similar scores as yours tend to feel overwhelmed by life or
specific things in life right now.
You appear to express a great degree of unhappiness with life right
now, which strongly suggests a change would be helpful, such
as seeking out professional help or talking to a doctor about your
concerns.
Life Events: You're experiencing events in your life that may be negatively affecting your overall mental health and your ability to cope with other things in your life. This may also affect your mood.
Depression:
People with scores similar to yours
are typically suffering from a moderate to severe depressive episode. This is also known as clinical depression or just plain depression.
People who have answered similarly to you typically qualify for
a diagnosis of major depression and have sought professional
treatment for this disorder.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible depressive disorder.
Take Action for Depression:
Anxiety:
People with scores similar to yours
may be suffering from moderate to high anxiety,
symptoms that might typically qualify a person for the diagnosis
of an anxiety disorder.
Sometimes people who feel such anxiety symptoms don't realize
that their body may be trying to tell them something.
Look for patterns in your behavior, such as when and what
circumstances under which you experience the symptoms
you've described. For example, if it occurs prior to public
speaking and your job requires a lot of presentations you may
want to find ways to calm yourself before speaking or let
others do some of the presentations.
You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible anxiety disorder.
The most common anxiety disorders diagnosed are either panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.
Take Action for Anxiety:
Phobias:
People with scores similar to yours typically are diagnosed with a simple or specific phobia,
which is an irrational fear of certain objects or situations, such as being
afraid of heights, snakes, or enclosed spaces. Generally most people with this
kind of concern simply avoid the object or situation. If it is of serious
concern, often people with similar scores will seek out professional help to
cure the person of the irrational fear. Such therapy usually only takes a dozen or
so sessions, and in some cases much less.
Self-Esteem:
People with scores similar to yours express some major concerns with their self-esteem.
Self-esteem is most often the product of our upbringing and personalities. It is
something that a self-help book or psychotherapist can help a person learn to
readily improve in even just a few sessions.
Eating Disorders:
People with scores similar to yours are often diagnosed with an eating disorder, such as
anorexia or
bulimia.
Eating disorders occur mostly in women and are due to poor self-image and self-esteem, often as a result of childhood
experiences.
You can read up on
treatment information for
anorexia or
bulimia.
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.
However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you
to seek additional assistance from a mental
health professional who specializes in eating disorders within your community.
Your body mass index suggests you may also be dealing with obesity as an ongoing life issue.
Take Action for an Eating Disorder:
Schizophrenia:
People with scores similar to yours sometimes exhibit a symptom or two that may be
consistent with schizophrenia, or a schizophrenia-related disorder.
This doesn't mean you have schizophrenia, as some traits and symptoms may be found
in people who do not qualify for a schizophrenia diagnosis. But it is something
to be aware, especially if you are a teenager or in early adulthood (when schizophrenia
is commonly diagnosed).
Take Action for Schizophrenia:
Dissociation:
People with scores similar to yours may have something called
dissociation or a dissociative identity disorder.
Dissociation is a mental process, which produces a lack of connection
in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of
identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating,
certain information is not associated with other information as it
normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person
may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma
from his ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the
fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap
surrounding the experience.
You can learn more about dissociative disorders here.
People with this sort of issue often seek out professional treatment for their concern from a therapist with experience in treating dissociation.
Mania & Bipolar Disorder:
People with scores similar to yours often complain of symptoms commonly associated with bipolar
disorder (also known as manic-depression).
Bipolar disorder is characterized by a swing in moods from depression to mania (having racing thoughts,
an excess of energy, inability to maintain attention, etc.). Bipolar disorder at this level can
seriously interfere with a person's normal, everyday life and impair functioning in social
relationships, work, school, and other areas of one's life.
You can learn more about the symptoms and
types of bipolar disorder here.
People who report similar levels of bipolar symptoms often benefit from professional treatment for their concern through a combination of psychotherapy and medication.
Relationship Issues:
People with scores similar to yours often complain about one or more serious relationship issues.
Relationship issues at this level are often serious and can result in a relationship failing
if they are not addressed by both parties (through some type of intervention, whether it
be a self-help book or couple's counseling or such).
Alcohol/Drug Issues: People with scores similar to yours often have an ongoing but moderate problem with either alcohol or drugs. People often believe the problem is "under control," but whether it actually is or not really depends on specific factors in your life. If others in your life have talked to you about your alcohol or drug use, and you still have not reduced it, that may be an indication of a more serious issue that you should seek help for.
Technology Issues:
People with scores similar to yours often complain about having difficulty controlling
their time or use of the Internet and other technologies.
People with this sort of problem often identify it as being "addicted to the Internet."
Some therapists
may be able to help you with this issue and reduce your Internet use or use of other technologies so
that it interferes less with important relationships in your life, such as those with your
friends, family, or significant other.
Obsessions & Compulsions:
People with scores similar to yours
often have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
You can view symptoms and
treatment options for this disorder.
This is not a diagnosis, or a recommendation for treatment.
However, it would be advisable and likely beneficial for you
to seek a professional diagnosis from a trained mental
health professional in your community at your earliest convenience.
Take Action for Obsessions/Compulsions:
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD),
a disorder characterized
by reliving a suffered trauma through flashbacks, nightmares or other recollections of the event.
This is a serious concern that often requires professional treatment.
If you suspect you may have PTSD as a result of a childhood trauma, you may also
want to take our PTSD for child injury quiz.
Borderline Traits:
People with scores similar to yours often have traits associated with
borderline personality disorder.
Recommendations
You have 13 serious concerns that we've identified.
Generally such concerns should be checked out with a mental health professional
as soon as you can. You can find a mental health professional within your local
community through your insurance provider or through
an online
therapist directory.
Get help immediately if these concerns are overwhelming or you feel your health
or safety is at risk.
You have 3 milder concerns that we've identified. Such concerns may be a part of an ordinary person's usual up's and down's in life. However, if any of these issues cause you worry or concern, please consult with your physician or a mental health professional for further information.
Please remember, this is not a diagnosis or diagnostic test.
It is only a general screening to give you a broad understanding of the
mental health concerns you may be facing right now in your life.
Share Your
Results with Others & Offer Feedback @ Psych Central
(Your Sanity Score login works on the Forums at Psych Central -- no need to register again!)
(Your Sanity Score login works on the Forums at Psych Central -- no need to register again!)
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