In a state of confusion
And turmoil
Grinding my teeth
Clenching my fists
My sharp fingernails leaving
Indentations in my palms
That fade far more swiftly
Than the scars on part of my soul
Crossed and intertwined
As if a chunk had been removed and rolled and wrapped in metaphysical barbed wire
Then sealed in a sarcophagus surrounded by darkness and silence so it could be forgotten
Protected by that very forgetfulness
And should some faint, dusty memory arise
It was not to be spoken of
To speak of such things makes them real, gives them power
Or so I was raised to believe
But how can I set myself free when they are still within me?
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network
The past few days I've read the entirety of your blog and I can't even tell you how much I relate to many of your words. I have bipolar and while I've had the massive symptoms since high school, my first diagnosis came in 2004. I ignored it until I could no longer ignore it and went on meds in 2010. My life is a series of ups and downs but I have to say the medication has made those ups and downs much easier (for me anyway). What helps me is reading other people going through the similar ups and downs. I have read so many books and just finished reading "Loving Someone with Bipolar". My husband is reading it now. My bipolar has greatly affected our marriage in ways we didn't even realize until the past couple of months.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I look forward to many more posts and riding shotgun in your journey. You are welcome to ride shotgun in mine as well ; )
Yeah, with the new diagnosis I've been looking for blogs to read for the very same reason.
DeleteGlad to have you and I am following you as well :)