So I am in the waiting room at Dr. Calm's office and on the way here I realized that I have two opposing beliefs that I hold as truths to myself which, of course cannot be the case since I believe them as absolutes as I am want to do.
This may seem silly but let me explain.
One of my closest friends is truly one of the "have-it-all" people. She has an amazing personality, she is highly intelligent and she is super-friendly, sweet, tall and has model good looks.
We'll call her DW (dream woman).
Belief #1 - men always hit on DW at the bar because she is all I mentioned above (and more) :)
Yet then we have to look at the fact that DW thought it was great that hot 26-year-old was hitting on me and she told me, "I will trade you some attracting relationship skills for attracting hotties that want to @?*# you skills any day! Lol!"
"I don't want to do anything with them - I just want them to want me! Hahaha! He was a hottie. How could it not be flattering? You go gf! : )"
But my Belief #2 is: Men only hit on women like me at the bar because they see an easy mark. Some older, someone heavier, someone less attractive so they assume that it'll be easier to lay someone who looks like me because they think no one else would want me.
And that all ties in to the fact that even when I was young, thin and single I never had an issue finding male friends, male lovers or men to be in a friends with benefits or a fuck buddy scenario but I ALWAYS had a tough time finding men who wanted to be in a relationship with me.
Maybe it was because of my (then) undiagnosed bipolar disorder or because of all the pain and suffering and various abuses I've been through in my life.
But as you can see it still bothers me or I would not have these two differing beliefs.
Appt time. Gotta go.
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